At the point where I signed up for the Alabastron Renewing Self programme, I was going through a lot in my life. I could not explain it to anyone not even to myself, why I was extremely bitter. I was a very sad person on the inside yet all smiles on the outside and I had perfected this art such that nobody would ever imagine/suspect that I had any issues at all.
I always felt unloved, not confident, rejected, unworthy and as if I was on my own in this world. I had convinced myself that nobody loved me enough to stand by me. I experienced a lot of emptiness and great fear in my life. As much as all these feelings were eating me up; I always pretended that I was doing well and that I was indeed very happy.
This would only work for as long as I could put up the show and eventually I could just lose it by snapping at people and breaking down. I could never put a finger on exactly what was eating me up. I also had the tendency, and it gave me a high to solve other people's problems by giving them justifiable solutions only as a cover up for my struggle. [...] Read More