A Son's Voice to Mothers!
Prior to my mum doing the Renewing Self Program at Alabastron, I did not understand what was really going on. I was bitter about what was going on at home – my relationship with my mother and father was not ideal and it translated to my school life and my personal relationships with other people especially other women, both authoritative and platonic.
For a long time I hated women! I did not like the idea of a woman in my life because of the pain my mother had caused me. Every time I needed someone, there was nobody there! I would go and hide somewhere because I didn’t want to see her.
For a long time I hated women!
Every young man or every child wants an opportunity to share life with their mother. I believe that no matter how tough life gets, there is always that thought that ‘one day it will happen’!
I remember later when my mum told me about her relationship with her family, that is when it started making sense to me. It hit me that as much as I had expectations of my mother, there were some battles she was fighting that had nothing to do with me. She didn’t know how to deal with them so she would come home and there would be drama!
When mum finally told me about Alabastron, she had hit breaking point. I think she sat down somewhere, looked around and realized what she was going through was affecting her family and she was going to lose her kids! She’d always talked about how she did not want to become her past but the thing she feared the most is what she was becoming!
What really changed for me is when I realized there is something she was going through; things that she had not forgiven herself for but was taking this Alabastron course to try and rectify them. Day by day I noticed the changes – she started going to the gym, changed her diet and started eating healthy. She’d started changing her life! She’d actually taken a step to go through this very deep, emotional and spiritual process not only to forgive herself but also to get a better life for herself. That is when I really understood what Alabastron was all about.
Her relationship with my father, my brother and I improved!
When she finished Mission to Upscale, she sat down with me and told me “I have been going for Alabastron and it has really helped me”. She didn’t have to tell me a lot of the things she told me then because I had already seen the changes. Her relationship with my father, my brother and I improved! Everything started unfolding organically. She did not try to impose herself on us. My mum had found her purpose!
There are decisions I made in my youth that were going to get me killed. I would not be here today. My mum came in at the right time! With time I changed my perception, not only about women but about life.
With time I changed my perception, not only about women but about life!
Women are under so much pressure especially today to be perfect. As long as perfection is being drilled into women by society, they will forget who they are by the time they are 15 or 16 years old. I love Alabastron because they make it okay for women to realize that it is okay to be who you want to be.
There are a lot of friends I know whose mums are going through something similar and they would blame themselves and say “it is my fault”! Children, especially sons, take the blame for their parents’ behavior and as a result they detach.
Watching my mum be a better person, be happier, and smile more, makes me very happy as her son.
There are a lot of young men going through a lot of issues with their mothers today but because society has portrayed us as strong, we are not supposed to talk about these things! They are suffering in silence. We are supposed to remain strong, shove everything down and go about like everything is okay. IT IS NOT! It starts at home. But until someone takes a step back and realizes that their actions are affecting the people around them and the people closest to them in a very negative way. Nothing is going to change!
There are a lot of men going through depression, mental illness and drug abuse today because of mummy-issues and mummy-drama. It is worse when the mother has passed on because they did not have closure. They did not say what they had to say. I am very fortunate that I got to reconnect with my mum before I became an adult and moved out of home. I know that if my mum did not do Alabastron I would ended up not in a good place.
I now enjoy my mum! I got closure because we sorted out what we needed to sort out. We got through what we needed to get through. I understand her and she understands me.
Watching my mum be a better person, be happier, and smile more, makes me very happy as her son.
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