All my life I didn’t want to accept that indeed I needed help and that It’s okay to ask for help; but in August 2019, my life hit rock bottom. I was a post 2months suicide survivor (had attempted suicide in June), was clinically depressed, dependent on sleeping pills and anti-depressants and to make matters worse my close to 5years relationship ended.
I was mentally, physically and emotionally drained and broken, I constantly had mental breakdowns and my anxiety was at its peak. My relationship with my dad was unhealthy and it was affecting all my other relationships especially with the man I had in my life then. I was holding onto my mum’s death for 16years.
I tried everything to fix my situation. From therapy, I switched from one therapist to another, to meditation; it didn’t work because I couldn’t bring myself to be still and focus for more than 5minutes, to talking to friends and close family members which didn’t help either. At some point I didn’t even know or understand what was going on in my life, I really didn’t have the right words to explain my problem. All I longed for was peace, inner peace and inner healing. But when they all didn’t work out for me, it left me feeling more broken, exhausted and tired of life. I gave up and thought that probably it was my destiny to succumb to depression, and I was patiently waiting for my death! [...] `