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What If Our Greatest Stregnth Lies in Making Peace with Our Greatest Shame and Guilt?
Welcome to Binafsi!!
We’ve been looking forward to sharing with you this second issue of Binafsi where we will be unearthing an important yet overlooked topic: SILENCE
We have often heard of the expression, Silence is Golden!
Ladies, let’s take a minute to do some self-reflection. In our lives, when has silence been Golden? To whom has it been Golden? In a woman’s life experience, from when she was a girl, the moments when silence is taught, expected or even imposed on are usually the moments that leave us engulfed in humiliation, guilt, self-betrayal, indignity, dishonor, degradation, the list goes on. The reality has been that these moments of silence, if shared by anyone, leave us feeling such shame. For some of us, we can almost remember the day we went silent. When just a shadow of who we were created to be started to show up in our lives
Diana Nyangah, in Whoa! Let me tell you, expounds about her journey, where she was finally able to share in a safe space and finally break her silence. She is now living in a freedom that no amount of words can express. In our Get This.. section, we also look at the quote by ‘Napoleon Hill’ on Struggle that will make us rethink how we describe our experiences. How we can use actual definitions or descriptions of words as positive tools in our lives to change the perception of our experiences.
Finally, under Teach Us Something… Kainembabazi Sabiti, shares with us some interesting Life Hacks on how to use nontoxic easily accessible items in all our kitchens to keep our appliances clean and smelling fresh as well
WHOA! LET ME TELL YOU!!
I Have Finally Broken My Silence! I Am Free!!
I have broken free from the guilt of the skeletons in my closet and moved forward in life
I heard about Alabastron about five years ago. A close friend of mine had invited me to the Open Day. I felt I couldn’t afford it but I knew it is what I needed. Later I began following the program My Unspoken closely. I wished I had the courage to share my pain as I watched the women share
After carrying the weight of the decisions I had made that turned out to be mistakes, I had a longing to be free. I wanted to separate my past from the future I longed for. So, I began attending church. Unfortunately, I felt judged so I did not share my truth. I was at the lowest I have ever been in my life. Ouch! Sometimes I would catch myself thinking death would be a better option. This time I was not ready to do therapy again.
My highlight of my Alabastron journey was when I was able to break my silence. For the first time in my life I spoke my truth without fear and judgment.
My life was stagnant. I was struggling with my social life. I was living in solace. Deep down I longed to share my truth without fear or judgment. I was feeling defeated. I began lacking confidence in myself. I was carrying guilt and shame from the decisions I had made in my life.
In order to live by life, I began pleasing people. I would say yes to everything including what I needed to say no to. I couldn’t pray because I felt unworthy even before God! I had no peace. I began having sleepless nights. This resulted to me been easily irritable at work, arriving at work late. Consequently, I constantly strived to prove my worth to people around me even if it was at my own expense. I was a doormat.
My highlight of my Alabastron journey was when I was able to break my silence. For the first time in my life I spoke my truth without fear and judgment. Truly no words can express this moment for me. I had always been scared of being judged but for the first time in my life, the skeletons in my closet could no longer haunt me. Also it was encouraging to hear that even other ladies share this similar pain!! WAAAAH!! I realized I was not alone.
The dictionary’s definition of the word Struggle is to ‘make forceful or violent efforts to get free of restraint or constriction whilst the word Effort is defined as a vigorous or determined attempt or the result of an attempt.
Indulge me for a minute as I break down ‘Napoleon Hills quote’, using the dictionary definition of these words... Strength and Growth come from the forceful or violent, determined attempts to get free from restraint or constriction.
Wow!! I can tell you straight up, that when I first read this quote that was not how I interpreted it. When I have said I am struggling it’s usually to describe a feeling of feeling weighed upon, not describing how determined I am in the process of forcefully getting myself free from a situation that is restricting me or leaving me feeling constraint. Let me say again… Wow!
As we read Dianah Nyagah’s candid story about her journey which has finally left her feeling Free, take some time to reflect on where you have struggled and relook at the effort that you have applied to your situation of struggle. When you say, ‘I am really struggling right now’ have you been coming from the angle of, ‘I feel weighed upon’, I feel overwhelmed and helpless’ or like Diana, did you finally use the dictionary definition of struggling to mean - ‘I am making forceful, even violent attempts to get free from what is holding me back? Final question, did the struggle bring you Growth and Strength?
I Have Finally Broken My Silence! I Am Free!!
In our lives, when has silence been Golden? To whom has it been Golden? Diana Nyangah, expounds about her journey, where she was finally able to share in a safe space and finally break her silence
Love Restoration weekend is about you making a clear and decisive call to end C.R.A.P. cycles, to stop the unending obsession of trying to fix another or trying to get someone to love you. It is about ending the self-hatred of “what is wrong with me” and the self-betrayal of “maybe I am just too much.”
TEACH US SOMETHING
How many times have we opened a microwave and it smells of last week’s Kitoweo?
Kainembabazi Sabiti has some wonderful tips on how to ensure that your appliances and home electronics smell fresh and clean in our Teach us something section…
How to get rid of smells in the fridge:
fill a small cup or container with white vinegar and place in a back corner of the fridge
slice a lemon in half and sprinkle a very generous amount of salt all over the surface of the lemon. Place in a back corner of the fridge
How to get rid of smells in the microwave:
wipe down the inside of the microwave thoroughly (including the roof and sides and under the rotating plate)
slice a lemon in half (or use the other half of the lemon you used for the fridge), place it on a small saucer and microwave for 30 seconds (full power)
No more smelly fridges or microwaves! :)
Remember you can always share with us the some of the fun, easy and unusual life hacks on firstname.lastname@example.org . Also, give us feedback on your experiences of the life hacks that have been shared so far.
Thank you for all who have given us feedback so far, we want to hear from you! Send us your comments on email@example.com we would love to hear what you are enjoying and what you would like to see more of and see you next Tuesday for some more Binafsi time!