I Resolved To End It All
"..I tried to take my life. I had been admitted in hospital for several months in a coma. I had lived a traumatic life till then, mistreated and abandoned by my mother and many other dark experiences made me give up on life. I resolved to end it all. What I hadn’t realised at the time, was that I had been dead long before then"
My name is Jane (not her real name). I am based in Switzerland. I learned about the Alabastron RS Programme, through my Kenya-based cousin. She had found the programme invaluable and in introducing me to the Programme, she gave me a precious unforgettable gift.
I had been admitted for several months in a coma. I had lived a traumatic life till then, mistreated and abandoned by my mother and many other dark experiences made me give up on life. I resolved to end it all. So, I tried to take my life. What I did not realise at the time, was that I had been dead long before then.
I started the programme after leaving hospital where I had been admitted for several months in a coma. I had lived a traumatic life till then, mistreated and abandoned by my mother and many other dark experiences made me give up on life. I resolved to end it all. So, I tried to take my life. What I did not realise at the time, was that I had been dead long before then.
I joined the Renewing Self Programme because I realised after waking out of the coma, that I was not the master of my destiny, in contrast to what I thought. I realised that a power far greater than I was watching over me and that I had been ignoring this greater power for years. Waking out of the coma reminded me about this higher power’s existence.
I joined the Renewing Self Programme because I realised after waking out of the coma, that I was not the master of my destiny, in contrast to what I thought.
I decided that I wanted to live, I had to live!
I had been blessed with a second chance. I wanted to heal, to live. I purposed to put in place all I could for my healing. I used a variety of strategies as a STRONG COCKTAIL to spice up and reignite my spark to fully live again. Alabastron RS Programme was part of the strategy that I adopted towards my healing. Other activities included weekly visits to my psychiatrist and psychologist, yoga, meditation amongst others. I now understood that I am on earth to live, until the ordained time comes for me to rest in peace. I had to make my days worthwhile; because trust me I was in hell and detested every single day of my previous life.
To give you an idea of the life I lived, imagine an ocean with swelling waves that swallowed me up. To be fair, the ocean was not solely to blame, I had dived into it, through choices made, consciously or not. Alabastron RS Programme was the life-preserver ring that helped me resurface and gain back my oxygen. I could see the sky again and just as the waters reflect the skies, I was reconciled with my inner Grace.
Can you imagine how beautiful and complete the scenery is? I had been swallowed up by the dark sea and of course the sky was dark too, BUT NOW it's all beautiful. The waters have more light (just like my soul), hence the skies are blue and bright. A perfect reconciliation between two worlds that make one.
The Alabastron analogy, best representing my experience of resurfacing and personally a remarkable and unforgettable class was one that showed a woman carrying loads of bags. The unnecessary loads had drowned out her tiny cute dating bag. I saw myself in that tiny dating bag. Through the programme, I found her. Yes! I have got my dating bag back; I got myself back!
The Renewing Self Programme gave me a bountiful harvest of joy, light and beauty.
The Renewing Self Programme gave me a bountiful harvest of joy, light and beauty. Thanks too, to the beautiful community of women that shared their stories which comforted me throughout my journey. Thank you, Alabastron Network Trust .
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