I Rewrote My Plan to Become Free and at Peace with Myself!
All my life I didn’t want to accept that indeed I needed help and that It’s okay to ask for help; but in August 2019, my life hit rock bottom. I was a post 2months suicide survivor (had attempted suicide in June), was clinically depressed, dependent on sleeping pills and anti-depressants and to make matters worse my close to 5years relationship ended.
I was mentally, physically and emotionally drained and broken, I constantly had mental breakdowns and my anxiety was at its peak. My relationship with my dad was unhealthy and it was affecting all my other relationships especially with the man I had in my life then. I was holding onto my mum’s death for 16years.
I was mentally, physically and emotionally drained and broken, I constantly had mental breakdowns and my anxiety was at its peak.
I tried everything to fix my situation. From therapy, I switched from one therapist to another, to meditation; it didn’t work because I couldn’t bring myself to be still and focus for more than 5minutes, to talking to friends and close family members which didn’t help either. At some point I didn’t even know or understand what was going on in my life, I really didn’t have the right words to explain my problem.All I longed for was peace, inner peace and inner healing. But when they all didn’t work out for me, it left me feeling more broken, exhausted and tired of life. I gave up and thought that probably it was my destiny to succumb to depression, and I was patiently waiting for my death!
This is when I decided to contact Alabastron, since I felt that I had nothing more to lose, why not sign up for the program? I first heard about Alabastron years ago from my step mother who had done the program. I was in high school then and didn’t give it much thought. I heard about the program again after a couple of years from my Aunt. It was at my brother’s birthday party and as we were having a conversation, she told me to pick up my phone and google Renewing Self which led me to Alabastron Network Trust. I began to read more from the website, and I could totally relate to some of them. She told me to plan my schedule and see how I can attend the classes then get back to her, and I shouldn’t worry about the cost.
My Alabastron journey helped me to identify the unhealthy feelings I was carrying all my life, taught me how to identify the root cause of these feelings and equipped me with tools on how to deal with them.
My Alabastron journey helped me to identify the unhealthy feelings I was carrying all my life, taught me how to identify the root cause of these feelings and equipped me with tools on how to deal with them. I learnt how to forgive myself, my loved ones and even God, yes you had me right…to forgive My God. I must admit it wasn’t an easy journey, my journey was full of tears…yikes. I at times joke that I cried all my tears during my season and I have no tears left in me. I always had my end goal in mind…To be FREE AND AT PEACE WITH MYSELF AND MAKE PEACE WITH MY PAST.
What excites me most about myself after renewing self is the Lady I have become. My relationship with God is solid and not rocky like before, I have come to learn that everyone else can leave me (and that is okay), because My God will never leave nor forsake me… and that gives me so much peace and joy. Cynthia is a priority and she comes first before anybody else, I know my worth and have gained the courage to unapologetically leave the table if something or someone doesn’t serve me any good.
I have learnt to express myself more boldly and confidently, I have gained my voice back and use it so as to be heard and express myself, I have managed to build strong and healthy relationship with myself, I have become so intentional and purposeful in my life and I finally got to heal from the death of my mother.
I have learnt to express myself more boldly and confidently, I have gained my voice back and use it so as to be heard and express myself, I have managed to build strong and healthy relationship with myself, I have become so intentional and purposeful in my life and I finally got to heal from the death of my mother. My relationship with my Dad now isn’t that perfect, but at least I can practically sit in one room with him and not feel bitterness, hate or rage creeping in, I am still on the journey to forgiving my father.
I wish someone had told me earlier that I would finally forgive, receive inner healing, be at peace with myself, let go of my past and finally be so blessed and lucky to be alive…I would have definitely signed up for renewing self-earlier! Don’t wait any longer, sign up HERE.
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