Who is Joan? (Family, career):

Mine is a story of a girl who was lost.

I was first diagnosed with depression along with ADHD when I was in high school. I didn't quite understand what was wrong with me because I was fun and popular but I was also indescribably lonely and sad. You had to be one or the other, I was both and that really confused me. Nothing about me added up. I didn't know what my personality was. My friendships didn't last, I lashed out in anger at my friends and by the time I finished high school, I had built this wall around myself that no one could get through. I couldn't figure myself out and I didn't want anyone to see how broken I was.

I don't know where to begin ... I am happy genuinely smiling ... Gosh! something that I had to pretend to be a few weeks ago. I joined Alabastron Renewing Self Sn 26 after I found myself in a rut feeling stuck resentful sooo angry waah not sleeping loosing appetite wanting to be alone, just wallowing blaming everyone and God and several failed suicidal attempt ... All in the name of seeking attention ... I had sought help from church friends books websites, 'kama ningekuwa na number ya mchawi mmmmh' ...... (I wished I had a witchdoctor's phone number)

Everything got to this level when I was with my current ex- boyfriend. But what i did not know or rather tried to ignore and hide was my past [...]

When I started the Alabastron Renewing Self program (season 25) in October 2015 it was because my mum had told me that it would change my life and it was just what I needed to take the next major step (she had already done the program).
It wasn’t long before I realized I had made the best decision.

I had heard about Alabastron in 2010 from a colleague who had attended the program, I didn’t give it much thought and I wasn’t interested in it then.