Have you heard the phrase “the hunter became the hunted”? That’s my Alabastron story. I always knew I was okay, just minor issues here and there. So when my sister in-law told me about Alabastron I thought about my sister and I knew this program would sort her. In my head, I was seeking help for her. Lo and behold! I was the one who needed ‘sorting’! Everything at the Open Day resonated with what I was going through!

At that time, I was in a lot of emotional and psychological pain. I was angry at myself, people around me, my spouse and even God. I felt misunderstood, judged, guilty, lonely, insignificant, unnoticed, unwanted, unworthy and unloved. I had no self-identity. In fact, I had even stopped looking at myself in the mirror! I was honestly looking for an end to my pain. I even had suicidal thoughts.

I remember my spiritual mentor telling me one day that he had seen me being eulogized in my own burial! Talk about a dead woman walking! This was a confirmation to me that I was just awaiting physical death. All this while, few people, if any noticed that I was struggling. [...]

Who goes on live TV to air their dirty linen?! That was the question on my mind when I heard Laimani speaking on TV about My Unspoken. I was very curious about which woman would go on such a show! We all have issues but sharing them on TV!!! That was a definite NO for me!

That was my first encounter with Alabastron many years ago. I had confused My Unspoken TV Show for Alabastron. Alabastron is a safe, private space for women where they can move from stuck to significance.

Despite achieving everything society expected me to achieve at my age, I was not happy. I had been divorced for about two years and I seemed not to be able to move from that space! I was stuck! Life did not make sense anymore. I felt like a failure!

I heard about it again from my aunt Beatrice, who was a guide at Alabastron for many years. She got my curiosity rekindled. She made me come for two open days before I was ready to commit to the program! She told me it would help me prioritize my life and help me get my identity back. At that point all I thought was Alabastron was a place for "older women with problems”. [...]

What is the measure of success in life? What does success mean to you? Would you recognize success when you encounter it? This is a question that I struggled with.

We are all born into a world where we have a “to-do” list that is prewritten for us. The goals on this list, we are told, should help us find meaning in life. The society labels these goals in form of education, employment, marriage or even the amount of wealth one has accumulated within a given period! Unfortunately, when an individual is unable to fulfill these goals, they are labeled failures in life.

Despite achieving everything society expected me to achieve at my age, I was not happy. I had been divorced for about two years and I seemed not to be able to move from that space! I was stuck! Life did not make sense anymore. I felt like a failure!

What does “tired of being tired” mean? That is the question I asked myself when I received a flier from my sister-in-law 2 years ago.

When I received the WhatsApp flier from my sister-in-law, the message resonated with what I was going throughat the time. The caption on the flier read, “Are you tired of being tired?” That is what got me really interested.

I had heard of Alabastron 5 years ago from my friend but I wasn’t too keen on enrolling. We actually met when she was going to class. She just told me “I’m going for Alabastron”. I heard about it again from my sister-in-law 2 years ago. I had just had my third child and I couldn’t enroll.

I decided to enroll for the program after I saw the flier. I didn’t have an excuse this time round. I made up my mind to go for it. I had not received a lot of information about the program from either my friend or my sister-in-law but I signed up! [...]

Prior to my mum doing the Renewing Self Program at Alabastron, I did not understand what was really going on. I was bitter about what was going on at home – my relationship with my mother and father was not ideal and it translated to my school life and my personal relationships with other people especially other women, both authoritative and platonic.

For a long time I hated women! I did not like the idea of a woman in my life because of the pain my mother had caused me. Every time I needed someone, there was nobody there! I would go and hide somewhere because I didn't want to see her

For most of my childhood, I didn’t have a mum, I had a mother. I had to learn a lot of what I know from trial and error. Some decisions cost me a lot! There are a few times I sat and thought ‘let me approach her’. The few times I did, I would get into trouble for it. [...]